Cain Marko stared down at the beer the bartender set down in front of him. He picked it up and began chugging, downing the entire mug in under a minute. He slammed the mug back down and snapped his fingers.

“Another.”

The bartender came over to him and took the mug away, refilling it from the tap. He set it back down in front of Cain. The hulking man finished off the second beer just as fast as the first and slammed the glass down again, pointing at it. The bartender stared at Cain as he took the mug and filled it again.

“Gonna slow down at all?”

“Just keep ‘em coming.”

“Take it easy. There’s no way I can carry someone your size outta here.”

Cain glared at the bartender. “Do I look like I give a shit? I can hold my booze, now do yer goddamn job.”

“Everything okay?”

“Not really one for that whole bartender as therapist bull. Just let me drink in peace.”

The bartender shrugged and placed a fresh mug in front of his customer. He moved away to find someone more pleasant to serve. Cain looked up and saw his reflection in the mirror behind the glass shelves housing the more expensive booze.

Cain Marko. Disappointing son. Disgraced soldier. Ex-con. Washed-out X-Man. Failed brother. And avatar of the mystic deity known as Cyttorak. Also known as the Unstoppable Juggernaut.

He’d tried to use the power he’d been given by the Crimson Gem for good. Making amends with his estranged step-brother, Charles Xavier. Until he committed suicide. Cain attempted to honor his brother’s memory by becoming one of his X-Men, which later led to him joining the covert X-Corps.

A human juggernaut in a covert operation. Someone clearly wasn’t thinking straight when they thought of that as a good idea.

It fell apart, just like everything in Cain’s life. And since then he’d been traveling from country to country, taking on whatever jobs he could find. Despite the X-Men putting in a good word for him and trying to get his criminal record expunged, that hadn’t stopped law enforcement from trying to take him down, or small-time superheroes (and supervillains) trying to make a name for themselves by battling the Juggernaut.

He came to Los Angeles to handle some small-time security work. It was a crap job and didn’t pay near as well as Roxxon should have paid. But work was work and he went wherever it took him. But he hated LA. Nothing but phonies and wannabes.

A voice like thunder boomed through the bar and Cain found his attention drawn to the source. The man who stood at the bar’s door was tall and strong, muscles straining against the tight, button-down shirt and jeans with a thick, brown beard surrounding his smiling face. Another bearded man, shorter than him and wearing a leather jacket stood by his side. Two more young men accompanied them, both with short, brown hair.

“Barkeep! Mugs of your finest ale!” said the big guy. “The Son of Zeus and his compatriots are here to celebrate!”

BAR FIGHT

By Dino Pollard

Lance and his friends thought they’d picked the perfect bar when they spotted the trio of beautiful young women sitting just a few tables away from them. One of them was a woman with long, fiery red hair. Another had beautiful brown skin and short, black hair. And the third was Asian with hoop earrings and dark hair that reached down to her chin. He’d called the waitress over and told her to bring the ladies another round and put it on his tab.

Once the waitress delivered the drinks, Lance nodded to his friends and the three of them stood and walked over to the table. Lance pushed himself in next to the redhead. “So what’s a group of beautiful ladies like yourselves doing all alone on a Friday night?”

“Oh god, this isn’t happening,” said the Asian girl with a roll of her eyes.

“Jubes, it’s okay,” said the redhead.

“Jubes, huh?” asked Lance’s friend, Ricky, who moved next to the girl. “That short for something?”

“Yeah, it’s short for ‘you’re invading my personal space.’”

“And what’s your name?” Lance asked the redhead.

“Angelica.”

“Well, definitely got the angel part right.”

“Okay boys, here’s the deal. Angelica’s too nice to be a bitch, but if she wanted to, she’d flash-fry the three of you with microwave energy.”

“Jubilee, don’t…”

Jubilee held up a hand to silence Angelica. She then pointed to the dark-skinned girl. “And Silhouette here, well she could teleport you anywhere in the world she wanted to. Or certain parts of you.”

Ricky laughed. “And what can you do, Jubes?”

“Me, I create lumikinetic light blasts.”

“Hey guys, maybe we should go back to our table.”

“Calm down, Jimmy,” said Lance.

“No, you should listen to Jimmy.” Jubilee held up a finger and bright sparks, like fireworks, appeared above the tip. “Really.”

“Shit, let’s get outta here!” said Jimmy, running from the table and out the door of the bar. Lance and Ricky weren’t quite as jumpy, but they still took the hint and left the girls alone. After the three would-be suitors were gone, the three young mutants began laughing.

“Something tells me that’s not exactly what Charles Xavier had in mind when he preached integration with humans,” said Angelica.

Jubilee shrugged. “What? I was just bein’ myself. You didn’t see me melt anyone’s face off, did you?”

“Bet you wanted to,” said Silhouette.

“That’s beside the point.”

Angelica took a sip of her cosmo and stared into the liquid. “So what do you think Vance and the rest of the guys are up to right now?”

Jubilee rolled her eyes. “Geez, you’re pathetic, you know that?”

“What?” asked Angelica.

“Not even ten minutes and already you’re asking about Vance,” said Jubilee. “Do you even get the concept of a girls’ night out?”

“Don’t worry, Angel,” said Silhouette. “What kind of trouble could they really get into that they couldn’t handle?”

“Make way, mortals! Hercules has a dry throat!”

Most of the patrons seated at the bar left, allowing Hercules and the rest of his friends a chance to move into the now-empty seats. All except Cain. Hercules sat on the stool next to the ex-con and signaled the bartender. He brought four mugs of beer over and set them down in front of the men.

“To our victories and the tales our exploits shall inspire!” Hercules raised his mug up.

“Hey Herc, you do know we were hoping to keep a low profile, right?” asked Vance.

“Don’t even bother,” said Dan, shaking his head and striking his glass against Hercules’. “Just go with it.”

Phil shrugged and did the same. After a moment of hesitation, Vance did the same. Phil couldn’t help but notice the expression on their leader’s face.

“You okay? You’re not looking so hot.”

“Just thinking about Angel.”

“Friend Vance, tonight is a night for men! A night of ale, debauchery, and combat!” said Hercules.

“I’d prefer just to stick to the ale if that’s okay with you, Herc,” said Vance.

Hercules gave a dismissive wave and looked to his side to see the large man sitting beside him. He slapped Cain on his back. “Perhaps this fine mortal will be a more fitting drinking companion? What say you, large one? Will you drink with a god?”

“I’m in no mood,” said Cain.

“But such an opportunity occurs so infrequently. Think of the stories you could regale your children with of the night you shared a toast with the Lion of Olympus!”

“Herc, just let the guy be,” said Phil.

Dan took his beer and stepped back. “I think it’d be better if we find a table for ourselves, guys. Herc’s too stubborn for his own good.”

Phil and Vance exchanged quick glances and then followed Dan while Hercules moved off his stool, his body facing Cain. But the Juggernaut still sat forward, staring at his beer.

“You are in great danger of offending mine person, large one. I suggest you apologize,” said Hercules.

Cain felt the anger boiling up inside him. “Yeah? Or what?”

“Or I will be forced to teach you some manners.”

Cain downed the entire mug of beer in one, large gulp. He then took the empty glass and swung it, smashing it against Hercules’ head. Before the demigod could react, Cain delivered a powerful uppercut that sent Hercules flying through the roof of the bar. The patrons immediately scrambled and Vance and Phil both stood up and took notice.

Dan remained calm and collected as he sipped his beer. “Well, that was different.”

Vance held out his hand and an aura of telekinetic energy surrounded Cain. “I’m not saying Herc wasn’t being a pain, but that doesn’t justify what you did. And it doesn’t explain how you did it.”

Much to Vance’s surprise, Cain stepped closer towards him. He moved slowly, but that he could move at all was a testament to his strength. With each step he took, Vance felt the strain on his powers growing.

The doors to the bar burst open and Hercules stood there, his shirt torn from his trip through the roof. And the anger on his face was evident.

“Foul villain! Now you face the might of Hercules!”

“It’s just that everything’s moving so fast,” said Angelica while finishing off her second cosmo. “After the Avengers, I thought we would get to settle down for a bit, leave the superheroics behind. But then Dwayne set up the Champions out here and Vance came running.”

“I can understand your frustration, but you know Vance,” said Silhouette. “Ever since he was a kid, all he ever wanted to be was Captain America. Even if he didn’t develop mutant powers, he would’ve still put on a costume and start jumping from rooftops.”

“Yeah, and I get that. Being a hero used to be what I wanted, too. But things change.” Angelica sighed. “I kind of hoped he would change with me.”

“That was never gonna happen,” muttered Jubilee.

“You don’t know—”

“No, I do know.” Jubilee took a sip of her beer. “Listen, I get it. You want something else outta life, and that’s cool. Do your thing, go back to school, whatever. But why do you expect Vance to follow you?”

“Because he proposed to me,” said Angelica.

“What, you thought because he wanted to get married that meant he was gonna hang up the cape? Because there’s no such thing as a married superhero?” Jubilee snickered. “Damn girl, you’re naïve.”

“Like you know anything about it…” said Angelica.

Jubilee slammed her glass on the table. “My fiancé was murdered, Jones. Trust me, you do not wanna go there with me.”

Silhouette held out her hands to both girls. “Everyone just take a breath. Jubes, Angel doesn’t know anything about what happened to Bobby. And Angel, Jubilee’s got a point. You know Vance will never be satisfied just being a civilian.”

“Oh come on—”

“No, it’s true,” said Silhouette. “I’ve known Vance a long time. Almost as long as you’ve known him. And every time—every time—he had a chance to turn his back on superheroics, he always ignored it. It’s not because he doesn’t want to grow up or anything like that—it’s because that’s who he is.”

Angelica shut her eyes and gave a solemn nod. “Okay, I guess you’ve got a point.”

“And this all begs a bigger question,” said Jubilee. “If you knew Vance was never gonna stop, why’d you even say yes in the first place?”

Hercules charged at Cain, throwing a haymaker that threw the Juggernaut through the wall of the bar. He barreled forward, tackling Cain just as he got to his feet. Cain rolled with the tackle and flipped Hercules on his back, slamming him onto the ground and cracking the hardwood.

“They’re ruining my place!” screamed the bartender.

Phil moved over to the bartender and handed him a business card. “You should call the local Damage Control branch, sir. Let them know that Phil Urich authorized billing to the X-Corporation. But first, you’re gonna have to duck.”

“Duck?” asked the bartender.

Phil pulled the bartender to the ground just as the Juggernaut went flying over their heads. Phil patted the bartender on the back. “Damage Control will take care of everything and—”

Phil paused in his speech as Hercules bounded over their heads to go at the Juggernaut again. Phil sighed and looked at the bartender. “Y’know what, you should probably just head home.”

The bartender nodded and snuck away. Phil stood with a sigh and returned to the table. Vance’s face was buried in his hands and Dan continued to calmly enjoy his beer. “I think this might look bad in the papers tomorrow.”

“You think?” asked Vance.

“Jessica can spin it, don’t worry,” said Dan. “The guy hit first, Herc was just defending himself.”

“Still, this is bad,” said Vance. “And who is that guy anyway?”

“Give it time,” said Dan.

“What do you mean?” asked Phil.

Hercules flew back across the bar and Cain cracked his knuckles, his teeth gritted. “All I wanted was to have a quiet drink, but noooo! You wanted a throw-down, then the Juggernaut’s happy to oblige!”

“See?” Dan walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a tumbler. He returned to the table and poured himself a glass of whiskey. “They always say their names.”

“I guess I never really thought about it that way,” said Angelica. “We’ve been together for so long that when he proposed, it just felt like the next logical step, you know?”

“What, you want to be one of those couples that stays together just because they’ve stayed together for so long?” asked Jubilee. “Maybe I’m crazy, but that doesn’t sound too healthy to me. What do you think, Sil?”

Jubilee looked up and saw that Silhouette was no longer sitting at the table. She looked around the bar and saw her teammate standing near the bar, staring at a TV screen hanging from the ceiling. Jubilee and Angelica came up behind her and saw what had grabbed her attention. On the screen was footage of Hercules throwing down with a large, muscled man.

“I think we’d better go,” said Silhouette.

“Ain’t that the truth,” said Jubilee.

“The Juggernaut?” asked Vance. “As in The Unstoppable Juggernaut?”

Dan shrugged. “Who can keep up with all those adjectives?”

“We have to stop this!” said Vance.

“But you just said he’s unstoppable,” said Phil.

“You know what I mean!”

“Wonder what my adjective would be…” muttered Dan. “The Vengeful Ketch? The Fiery Ketch?”

“I could go get my Goblin gear, but by the time I got to Champion Tower and back, the fight would be over,” said Phil.

“Fine, I’ll do it!” said Vance, a telekinetic aura surrounding him and carrying him over to the fight.

Dan calmly finished his whiskey. He refilled the glass and as he did, he counted down. “Five…four…three…two…”

Vance slammed into the shelves above the bar, shattering the bottles. Dan grumbled and finished his drink. “See, now that’s crossing the line.” He held out his arms and hellfire snaked down the length of his limbs, stretching out from his fingertips and forming into chains he clutched in his grasp.

Dan whipped the chains and they flew across the room, wrapping around the Juggernaut’s arms and holding him back from delivering another blow. The Juggernaut turned, scowling at the new combatant. He took hold of Dan’s chains and pulled on them.

“Oh shit…” muttered Dan, just seconds before he was pulled with his chains and thrown right into Hercules, knocking over the demigod.

“Now I’m gonna give you the pounding of a lifetime!” said the Juggernaut, stepping towards Hercules and Dan and raising his fists high in the air. Before he could strike, he was blinded by bright bursts of light exploding right in front of his face.

“For chrissakes, Marko!” said Jubilee. “Phrasing, much?”

Silhouette had teleported herself, Jubilee, and Angelica to the scene after seeing it on the news. Angelica heard a groan come from behind the bar and her powers of flight carried her over there. When she saw it was Vance, she instantly went to his side to examine his wounds.

Phil sidled up to Silhouette. “So, how was girls’ night?”

“Some douchebags bought us drinks,” said Silhouette. “How about yours?”

“Herc got in a bar fight with the Juggernaut,” said Phil. “So about what you’d expect.”

“Get the hell outta here, Lee! This is none’a yer business!” said Cain, now towering over Jubilee, who remained completely defiant.

“The hell it isn’t!” said Jubilee, pointing a finger in the Juggernaut’s face. “Just what’s goin’ on with you, huh? You had a home with the X-Men, so why would you go back to being a B-list supervillain?”

“Got no place with the X-Men. They shipped me off to X-Corps first chance they got. Then after that ended…”

Jubilee crossed her arms in a huff. “Oh boo-freaking-hoo. So X-Corps is gone. Ever think that maybe the X-Men could still use someone like you?”

“I just thought—”

“No, you didn’t think, and that’s always been your problem!” said Jubilee. “You wanna go back to being a crappy small-time hood that gets his ass kicked by Spider-Man?”

“Hey, that was just luck—”

“Shut up,” said Jubilee. Much to the surprise of the other Champions, the Juggernaut followed her command. “You wanna honor the Professor’s memory? Then you do what you promised him you’d do, ‘kay? Go back to Westchester, talk to Hank. I’m sure they could find a way to use you. Would definitely be better than this.”

Cain opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He sighed. “Awright, you win.”

He turned around and jumped from the scene, quickly receding out into the horizon. Jubilee walked over to where Dan was helping Hercules stand once again. “You okay, big guy?”

“Aye,” said Hercules. “I had that fiend right where I wanted him.”

“Of course you did,” said Jubilee.

“Your intervention was fortunate for him. Another minute and the Prince of Power would have shamed him in the eyes of his ancestors.”

“Whatever you say, Herc.”

Angelica helped Vance get to his feet, draping his arm over her shoulders and keeping her arm wrapped around his waist to support him. “This isn’t really necessary, Angel. I can fly, y’know.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Angelica. “By the way, Vance? I think we should have a talk.”

CHAMPOUTS

What you’re looking at here may actually be my final issue of Champions. I actually had a ton more ideas for this series, involving the likes of characters such as Warlord Kaa, Stegron the Dinosaur Man, the Dark Riders, Sabretooth and Mesmero, Death-Stalker, and even classic Champions villain, Swarm. But with my time to devote to fanfic dwindling these days, I’m not sure if I’ll actually be able to get to those stories.

This series has been a little bit odd for me. I was really pumped about it when I came up with my initial proposal. But when it came to sit down and beginning to write the issues, I always felt kind of paralyzed. But then as I was writing the issues, I had a lot of fun doing them. Champions is one of those books that’s so offbeat that it allows for a certain degree of humor that doesn’t work as well in the other titles I write. Plus it gave me a chance to experiment with some villains I may never have written otherwise—characters like Coldheart, Speedfreak, Nefarius, Night Terror and Steppin’ Razor, and Demogoblin (which is my personal favorite issue of my run on this book).

I still wanted to tell this story, kind of a riff on the old Colossus/Juggernaut bar fight issue of Uncanny X-Men. And it wasn’t quite the knock-down, drag-out fight I expected it to be, but I like what came out of it even better. Plus, this also leaves the team—and especially Justice and Firestar—in a pretty good position for another writer. If someone wants them to stay together, they easily can. If they want to break them up, the door’s been opened for that, too.

It’s been fun. And maybe it still will be. We’ll see what happens.

-Dino