Somewhere

Lights flashed. Alex could catch glimpses of crazy things that he shouldn’t be able to see. There were dinosaurs, magic sticks, rainbow aliens, and mechanical fire gloves all swirling around in a vivid sequence.

He could see his parents around him and the parents of all his friends. They were laughing, grinning about something. Was something funny? Alex couldn’t remember. He couldn’t seem to remember anything. Then his friends came. Everyone stood there, laughing.

What was going on? he wondered. Has the world gone to hell?

Then, with a snap, it was all over. Alex sat up in his bed, cold sweat soaking the sheets. It had all been a dream, hadn’t it? All a dream…

Yet, looking around him, Alex knew that parts of the dream were real. Memory surfaced, and all Alex wanted to do was scream as he relived the last few days…

NO PARENTS ALLOWED

Part I: With Eyes Wide Shut

By Hunter Lambright

Wilder Residence; five days ago

“Haha! Take that!” Alex muttered into his headset as his MMORPG character took down a villain controlled by a player from the other side of the world.

“Dude, no fair,” came the reply over Alex’s ear-phones. “You’re playing as Captain America! He’s, like, the best character in the game!”

“Get over it,” Alex scoffed into the mic. “Seriously, it’s your fault for trying to take me on. I’m at level twenty and you’re only on level eight!”

There was a sudden knock on the door. “Alex, honey? Are you ready?”

“Sorry, man,” Alex said. “The real world calls.” He signed off the computer. “What’d you say, mom?”

His mother poked her head in the door. Catherine Wilder was a thin, black woman. Her long hair was tied back neatly and she wore a business suit. “I asked if you’re ready for our guests to arrive.”

Alex groaned. He had forgotten that his parents’ yearly charity gathering was that night. “It’s the least we can do to repay our world,” his parents always said, when he asked why they had to do it yearly. Of course, they were well-off, and who wasn’t if they could be living on the beach in Los Angeles?

“Is that a ‘yes,’ young man?” Catherine asked sternly, bringing Alex back to reality. She put her hands on her hips. “Now seriously, put something on that doesn’t advertise some company and try to comb back your hair.” She left him there to change.

“Dad?” Alex called down the stairs. “Tell Mom that you said what I was wearing is fine.”

Geoffrey Wilder, a well-built black man, bald but with a graying beard, laughed from down the stairs. “Listen to your mother,” he said. “She’s always right.”

“Smart man,” Alex heard his mom say.

Alex groaned again before changing t-shirts. This was not going to turn out well.

He just had no idea how bad it was going to turn out.

The Hayes Residence

“Mommy? Daddy?” Molly Hayes asked. “Do I have to go? I don’t want to!”

“Oh, come on,” said Gene Hayes, a handsome, young-looking man. “You know you get to play with all of the other kids. It’ll be fun!” He tried to convince her, but he was obviously failing.

“I don’t want to go!” Molly pouted. “I just got back from mutant school and I wanna stay home.”

“It’s called the Xavier Institute, dear,” said Alice Hayes, her longer, brown hair making her look like any other mother in America. “You’ll go farther, do better in school, if you can just remember to call things by their correct names.”

“Hmph,” Molly said, crossing her arms over her chest. Her angry face was a stark contrast to the cute animal hat on her head. “Don’t change subjects.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” Alice said, before realizing the absurdity of defending herself to a twelve-year-old. “Look, honey, if you come, Mommy will buy you ice cream on the way home, is that okay?”

“Can we buy some Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs on the way back, too?” Molly asked, putting on her best cute charm.

Alice sighed. “Of course, honey.”

“Yay!” Molly said. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

The Dean Residence

“Look, Frank!” said Leslie Dean. “Karolina’s making vegan dinner rolls! Aren’t you so proud?”

Frank carefully tested one of them. “Mm!” his face lit up in delight. “These are great, dear! Where’d you pull this recipe?”

Karolina smiled. “I got it off the ‘Net, Dad,” she said. “Mrs. Wells’ site has a great vegan section. You should try it some time.”

“Yeah,” smirked Frank. “If I could figure that blamed thing out.”

“Wrap them up, dear,” said Leslie. “We have a date to make with the Wilders.”

The Stein Residence

“Get out of my face, old man,” said Chase Stein, rubbing his jaw from where he’d been hit. “You aren’t worth this crap.”

“I don’t tell you to get better grades for me,” said Victor Stein. “You need to get better grades for yourself, for a good college. If you were supposed to get good grades for me, I’d sure as hell have found somewhere safer to get them from.”

“Don’t go into boxing, then, dude,” said Chase angrily. “If you didn’t spend all of your time out in that crap-shack of yours, maybe you wouldn’t hit like a girl.”

“Can you two stop it this instant?!” asked Janet Stein, rushing around like a worker bee. “I can’t get stuff done with you duking it out in the living room!”

“Got somewhere to be?” Chase asked.

“Every year, on the same day,” Victor muttered. “And your walnut-sized brain still can’t remember our annual charity meeting?”

“Wonder which side of the family that walnut-sized brain came from,” Chase muttered in return.

Victor drew back his fist to hit his son again, but stopped himself. “Get dressed, son. We’re not done with this—we’ll talk more when we get home.”

The Yorkes Residence

Gertrude Yorkes looked up from her desk to her clock. She should get ready soon. She looked back at her Green Warriors chat room and saw the flow of conversation pick up. It could wait.

“Gertrude!” shouted her father, the mustachioed Dale Yorkes. “It’s time to get ready!”

She smiled wryly. If she didn’t remind herself, her parents would. “I’m busy!” she whined.

“Doing what?” asked Stacey Yorkes. “Dying your hair purple again?”

“No,” said Gert. “Just trying to make the world a better place.”

“Can’t you do that after we go to the Wilders’?” Dale asked. “We’re on a timetable here, and charity work makes the world better, too.”

Gert groaned. “Whatever,” she said, before shutting her computer off. Making the world a better place could wait, after all.

The Minoru Residence

“Nico!” shouted Robert Minoru up the stairs. “We’re going to be late!”

“Hold on a second!” Nico shouted. “I can’t find any of my makeup!”

“It’s not like we’re dressing up for anyone,” said Nico’s mother, Tina Minoru. “The Wilders are friends, it’s not like we need evening gowns or anything.”

“Yeah…right,” Nico said. “Have you seen my makeup anywhere?”

Tina looked at the closed door. “I tossed that black stuff out a week ago. Oprah said it’s a bad influence.”

“Uh!” Nico exclaimed. “I can’t believe you did that!”

Robert gave a strained look at the door. “Can we go now, honey? It would be nice not to be late again.”

There was no reply.

Robert looked at his wife. “We’re going to be late, aren’t we?”

The Wilder Residence

Geoffrey Wilder opened the door for the Minorus. “Ah, finally! The last guests have arrived. Hello, Robert, Tina. Did you get caught in traffic?”

Robert gave a shifty grin. “Something like that.”

“Why don’t you join the other kids, Nico?” said Geoffrey. “They’re in the Game Room. Once the adults get their boring business taken care of, we’ll all eat. I hear that Mrs. Yorkes makes a mean pasta salad!”

“Oh…all right,” said Nico. She headed off to the Game Room.

Robert went up to Geoff’s ear. “Do any of the children suspect?”

Geoff grinned. “Not in the least.”

“Good,” said Robert. “The least thing I’d want is for all of this to blow up in our faces.”

The Game Room

“Y’know, Karolina,” said Chase, “we could always find a quieter room and spend time together. Get to know each other better.”

Karolina paid him no mind, especially when the door opened.

“Nico!” she exclaimed. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Nico said, smiling a little. “I think we haven’t seen each other since last year’s… y’know, this thing.”

Alex sat on the couch, looking utterly mortified at Molly as she poked his out-of-control, almost afro-styled hair. “So, Molly, d’you mind quitting with that?” he asked, trying to use some tact.

Molly scowled. “If you don’t want me here, you could just say it.”

“So, little dude,” said Chase, walking over. “How was your time at that mutant school?”

“It’s called the Xavier Institute,” Molly scoffed. “And it sucked. Everyone was just like me. At least here, I’m special. That’s what mommy and daddy tell me.”

“Isn’t Gert a mutant?” Chase asked. He pointed at her purple hair.

Gert groaned. “It’s hair dye, Chase. It comes in a bottle. Of course, someone like you probably thinks mutant powers come in a bottle, too.”

“They don’t?!” Chase asked, feigning astonishment. At the look on Gert’s face, he said, “I’m kidding, Gert. I’m not that stupid.”

“So, who here is absolutely and completely bored out of their mind?” Gert asked, dropping the conversation with Chase.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to take a head count of who isn’t?” Alex asked. “This whole thing reeks. We can never just do something else while they get done with all their ‘charity work.’”

“The way you say that,” Gert said, “it makes me think you suspect our ‘holier-than-thou’ parents are doing something besides ‘charity work.’”

“What better way to find out?” asked Alex, standing up. He went to a section of the wall paneling and pushed it aside, revealing a dark, small hallway. “We spy on them.”

The Lair of the Pride

“As our first order of business,” Geoff started, looking at the colorfully-dressed members of the Pride, “it has come to our attention that the Deans have had more dealings with our off-world enemies.”

Frank Dean stood up. “The Majesdanian colony in sector five has erupted into civil war. Though we were originally cautious with our black-market arms dealings with them, we have now been able to profitably sell to both sides. Within weeks, we’ll have quadrupled our profits since the beginning of the year.”

“Well done,” said Geoff. “Is there any more to be said?”

Frank hesitated. “The Kree suspect nothing, but there may be a few Skrull cells with insider information. Our mole has yet to report in, but once she does, we’ll let you know more.”

“How are things on the mutant front?” Geoff asked next, directing his question at the Hayes.

“Things are just as they have been. Most notably, from what we gathered on the wire we hid on Molly, there have been several new additions, powerful ones, at the school. We may need to keep our eyes on things there. At this point, the school does not appear to present a threat,” Alice stated.

“Then things are going well,” Geoff said. “Dr. Stein, will you be able to make quota for the deals the Deans have made?”

“That and more,” said Victor Stein. “Our new machine is tritium-based, and it works three times faster than the last one. Perhaps, though, we should ask you how your deals are going. It appears heroes continue to move closer to our region.”

“We’ll live,” Geoff said. “As of yet, they are not compromising our territory.”

“I suppose if all other matters of business are taken care of, we can move on to the final act?” asked Catherine. She wheeled out what appeared to be a wall mounted on wheels. Chained to the wall was a girl…

Secret passageway

“Did your dad just ask about how my parents were dealing with things off-world?” Karolina asked. “Are they serious?”

“What the hell are they doing?” Alex muttered.

“Hello-o!” chimed Molly. “Keep it G-rated, I’m only 12!”

“Who taught you to say that?” Gert wondered aloud.

“My mom says it to my dad all the time,” Molly said embarrassedly.

“What are they doing, Alex?” asked Nico worriedly. “Is it some kind of costume party or did our parents just go totally nuts?”

“Dude,” said Chase. “Our parents are acting totally queer.”

“They’re married,” Alex said. “They’re not queer. They’re sure acting different, though.”

“Would it kill us to know that they’d been lying about their sanity this entire time, though?” Gert wondered aloud, once again. “I mean, I’ve known my parents were crazy since day one.”

“How do we know they didn’t expect us to find this?” Karolina asked. “It’s probably some stage-show so that we think they’re crazy, you know?”

“Yeah, right,” Alex said. “Then what are they doing now?”

The Lair

“Restrain the girl, Hayes,” said Geoff, brandishing a large knife.

He stood over the girl, knife poised to drop over her exposed throat. “Welcome to Los Angeles,” he said evilly, and the knife plunged downward.

From the catacombs came a muffled scream.

“What was that?” asked Victor.

“I don’t know,” said Geoff. “But I mean to find out.”

The Secret Passageway

Alex knew it right then. They were dead, they had to be. So he had to do the one thing that anyone else who knew they were dead would do.

“Run!” he hissed.

Not surprisingly, that was what they did.

They ran away from all they had just witnessed.

Author’s Note

So here it is, the very first issue of a brand-new Runaways. I’ll be borrowing some of Brian K. Vaughan’s basic plots and the beginning setup, but from there, the sky’s the limit. For fans of Alex, Nico, Chase, Karolina, Gert, and Molly, I hope I live up to the standard you guys have come to know and love from Marvel, and on top of that, from Marvel Omega.

I’ll be honest—there was nothing new or exciting here for old fans of Runaways (or new readers), but that all changes next issue, entitled “Arithmetic and Memories.” Hopefully this issue just got you acquainted (or reacquainted) with the characters. If not, I’ve failed miserably.

Well, what’s in store for our favorite runners? Stay tuned. This is part one of five in “No Parents Allowed.” The party’s only just started. I hope I’m here for a good, long while.

To borrow a phrase…

Keep running,

Hunter Lambright