EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN

Part III

By Mike Bent

My name is Elektra; Assassin.

I am a woman who has had everything, only to lose it again, find it once more, and lose it all over again. Wash, rinse, repeat. A cycle that continues on and on. And yet for all that change, can I say that I feel any less ‘dirty’? Actually, yes. As I sytand here prepared to do battle with my husband, I feel the most pure I have ever been.

It is a harsh world that I once lived in, and will live in again. It’s the same world Logan also lives in. It’s a world filled with hardships and heartaches. We’ve both had our share, with other people, but especially with each other. It’s nt a world for lasting pleasantries or joy for anything outside of the moment. It’s a world of survival or death. Just ask the triplets I miscarried about the latter of the two.

I knew going in that I should have anticipated this. When I took that vow I should have known that we would be faced with the worse, sickness, and poorer. But I wanted so much to have the normal life. The normal happy life that I should have. But it didn’t happen It will never happen now. I should have known, marrying to a rough and tumble guy and not some accountant.

I don’t mean that. That was unfair of me. I wouldn’t trade my time I shared with Logan for anything. With him I had some of the happiest, most cherished memories of my life. Also some of the absolute worst. But I’ll always remember those little things, those good times.

Memories.

That is what has brought me here. My memories of my past life, both with Logan and of before. My time with The Chaste. My friend, Nina. Now I have a way to bring back those memories, bring them back to life. Potentially literally. It’s all a part of the path I walk now, the path to redemption. Not of my actions, but of myself. I need this. I should have discussed this with my husband first. But somehow, looking at him now as he stares at me, I know it wouldn’t have mattered if I had tried. He wouldn’t have listened as he has his own path to walk. And in some way, I think he realizes already.

“I can’t let you pass, Logan.”

“I know.”

Silence. This is the part I hate. So I make it go away, I tell him why I am here.

“If I let you go in there Logan, you will die. And when you are murdered, they will use your death to bring back to life an evil spirit.”

“I know.”

Damn, he can be frustrating at times.

“You aren’t listening to me Lo-…”

“You ain’t exactly listenin’ t’me either, Ele. Look, I ain’t got a choice in this. I gotta’ go in there. No matter what I’m lookin’ like or how I’m feelin’. It don’t matter what happens to me. I gotta’ save my kid.”

And the words stung. Damn him. He was willing to go all over the world to try and save the one little girl, some kid he just took in, when she had lost their babies. She had been right there, within arms reach. And yet he did nothing but draw away more and more.

“She could already be dead. Going in there is suici-…”

“You jealous of a little girl?”

She wanted to slap him for that. Mainly because he could have been right. Maybe she was jealous of Amiko, the child that was getting Logan’s attention, and not her. A child that Logan was going to kill himself over to try and save. When there were long nights when he wouldn’t come to bed, where there were times when they would just sit in silence for hours on end. And what did he do to help her then? And yet she was the one here, not, trying to save his life, when he just had forsaken her’s.

“That was uncalled for. I’m here to save your life, Logan. Because I care about you. Because I still …” But this time, she was the one to cut herself off.

“Look, Ele, I really ain’t got a choice in this. I gotta’ go in there. Amiko, she didn’t ask fer this. I know it’s a trap, but if I don’t try then…”

“You’re not a good father?”

“Now that was uncalled for,” Logan returned. “Truth is, I ain’t ever been the kind of father to that girl that she deserves. I realize this. But I ain’t here t’make amends fer screwin’ up all these years. Fact is, I made a promise t’her. I intend t’keep it.”

“Just like you made a promise to me?” With that Elektra held up her hand, showing the ring she still wore there. “Do you intend to keep that one as well?”

And then there was a long lasting silence.

There were no words now, at least none at hand, but now was a time of action. The temple which appeared to have been abandoned years ago, which was actually a nest of Hand ready to ambush him, loomed in the background behind Elektra. Despite the forboding pressence of that lair, Logan was focused on the white-wrapped woman who stood before it, doing her best to dominate his view. And Elektra knew it was working as his eyes ere intently on her. But then, she was not enough to deter Logan, nor were his wounds, as his hands and his shoulder were leaking pretty badly, not to even mention the various other scrapes and bruises that covered him. The costume he wore was splotched with marks of dried blood and growing stains of wet red. She wanted to reach out to him, to try and help him. But the way she could do that was to make sure he never entered the cursed place behind her. But then without warning Logan stepped forward, and Elektra knew that she had no choice but to try to stop him. He wouldn’t listen to her. So as Wolverine took his second step she kicked, swinging her left foot up and around, aimed for the Canadian’s temple. Maybe it would knock some sense into him.

But Logan reached out, grabbing Elektra’s ankle to twist his shoulders, flinging her aside. Looking back, over his shoulder, he gave her a regretful look as he continued on.

Gathering her senses, Elektra was on her feet in an instant, rushing forward. “Logan! You can’t go in there! If you do not only will you die, but so will Amiko and with it bring about the ressurrection of Ogun!” There was confidence in her words, trust in what The Hand who had come to seek her guidance had told her. And there was confidence in her second kick, a leaping one aimed for Logan’s unwounded shoulder.

He was aware of her attack, but he failed to react in time. Her foot caught him squarely, and he spun as he fell forward, her momentium following through so she landed directly behind him. Wolverine was in motion, spinning upwards with a jab to try and catch one of her legs, but Elektra lept back, out of the way, drawing her sais. She felt a pain of regret as Logan got back to his feet, leaving damn red spots on the ground. But the regret came from the fact that before this was over, Logan would bleed more. By her hand.

“I can’t turn back, Ele, we been there. Covered that.”

“Logan, listen to me. Carefully. I understand, I’ve been told what will happen if you go in there.” Elektra circled around to get in Wolverine’s way, causing him to lunge at her, wishing to shove her aside. Even wounded as he was he was quick, and Elektra noted perhaps he was even more deadly. More precise than normal, where he was often just a brawler. Now he was fighting like a cornered animal. Desperate.

But she had to try reason. “Logan, listen. Inside are a sect of The Hand, a very dangerous sect. They seek the darkest of arts, the most corrupt, that of the dead and the dying. They seek a master, a powerful lord to lead them, someone who-…”

“Ogun.”

“Yes, Logan, Ogun. They plan to bring him back from the dead, not as the unliving, but as himself. Surely you realize how dangerous that is, how powerful he would be, knowing all that he had gained from the other side.” Logan stepped forward again, and Elektra swung forward, causing him to draw back. At least she was keeping him at bay so far.

“He’d be near unstoppable. Beat ‘im already. I’ll do so again.”

“But at what cost, Logan? They plan to use your life to bring back Ogun, to harness your essence as you die to bring about Ogun’s return! Don’t you see, if you don’t go in there they’ll have no way to do this.”

“But if I don’t, Amiko dies.”

“That’s one life, just one life… and how many will be lost if Ogun is returned, empowering and leading a host of ninja. Instead, that energy could be harnessed and be used to return someone else…. if what I have been told is true. But in order to do that, to bring back someone that…. that’s not important. Logan, if they do this he’ll be morepowerful than before. These Hand that wish to have him as Lord and master would become more powwerful than they are already. The balance would be tipped. No one could stop them…perhaps not even The Chaste.”

Wolverine paused in his step forward, and Elektra though perhaps, just perhaps, she had finally gotten through to him.

“You know I can’t do that. Walk away.” And with that he stepped forward again.

Damn you, Logan. Damn you.

This time Logan was the first to act, lashing out in attempts to catch Elektra offguard. But she was skilled, quick, and blocked Logan’s blow with relative ease. Raising a foot and quickly planting it on Logan’s open chest, she kicked outward, driving him back.

“You are a stubborn, stubborn and foolish man! Why won’t you listen to reason!”

At this Logan actually chuckled as he got up from his knees, looking directly to his wife. “This was one of t’reasons you said ya’ married me. Said it was one of my more charmin’ traits.”

I almost smile at this.

“Yes, Logan. That and the fact that you once loved me.”

And at this Logan stopped, his eyes going wide. For all of the injuries he took in getting here, none of them hurt more than this. He truly looked wounded. For years, countless years, far more than Logan could ever remember, he had always felt pain. But nothing like this. Elektra too took a step back, stunned at her own words. Because she knew that she still hadn’t inflicted her worst. Yet.

“I… I never stopped lovin’ ya’ Ele…”

“I find that hard to believe, Logan. Running off, not telling me to where or why. If you had told me maybe I would have helped you to get Amiko back, found some way to. If you had trusted me… Hell, you have said more to me now in this battle than you did to me in all of the last few months. Was I really that bad, Logan? Did I not love you enough? Is it because I lost our children, before they could be born? Why did you stop, Logan.”

I wanted to cry. But I was Elektra; assassin. Warrior. Samurai. I couldn’t, not here, not like this. It’s not that I had to restrain the tears, it’s that I couldn’t call them if I wanted. I had used them up before.

Wolverine studdered in his step, falling back a pace, one hand out to his wife. Suddenly he was aware that it was his left, the hand where he wore the simple circle of gold; his wedding band. Hastily he pulled off his damp glove, tossing it aside. He looked from that band, then up to Elektra, that wounded expression still on his face.

“Elektra, I never… I just didn’t… din’t know how to say…”

“Say what, Logan?!? What, because I’m dying to know. Know why you couldn’t trust me, why you would go off, to do this. I was your wife, Logan. And I hurt. Yet you did nothing. Absolutely nothing. I tried, tried talking to you, trying asking for help, your help… do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to have lost our children, to have that shame and then to have to beg you for your support?? And still, you did nothing. I deserve to know why.”

“Because I was ashamed.”

I didn’t expect that.

“Come again?”

“I didn’t say anythin’ ’cause I didn’t know how to say it. The reason ya’ lost the babies was ’cause of me.”

And not they both fell still, in a lasting silence.

“Look, Ele,” Logan spoke, breaking the calm. he looks down now, to his lowered hand, the bare one, the one with his ring. “With my healing factor gone I was in a bad way. Gettin’ worse. So I started t’wonder why. I’ve been without it ‘fore and it ain’t never hurt me like it’s been doin’. So I started t’ask why.”

Finally, here and now he was speaking. Was it to get me to stand aside? Why should he trust me now? Why should I trust him now? Perhaps because as hard as it was to fathom Wolverine saying he was ‘sorry’, I believed him.

And he went on. Like a confessional now, he was speaking. Letting it out. And I had to admit, I wanted to hear it. I needed to.

“I contacted Chuck, Moira… even Hank. sum’ of t’most brilliant minds out there. Asked fer their help. What they found ’bout me was that since I’d done so much to my body over t’years, all that trauma… well, not that I was without my healin’ factor it was takin’ effect. The flamin’ resevoir broke. I ain’t ever felt this old… hell, I ain’t felt old ‘fore. Now everythin’ I ever had done t’me, each ache ‘n pain were coming back t’haunt me.”

Well, that explained a few things. Logan had been slower, moving about the house. Even now, here in this fight, he was looking winded. It could just be from his wounds, the cuts and scraps over his body. But they hadn’t even begun to heal like they might have for a normal person. He had complained of sore joints, when he thought she hadn’t been listening. But that still failed to explain one thing.

“And the trip-triplets, Logan. How does that it explain them?” How does it not make it my fault?

Logan took a pause in this, watching his wife, noticing the way her shoulders tensed. She was listening, and he was speaking. Yet this was difficult, as difficult to admit as it was to hear it when he had been told. Told the day after he buried his own children.

“They tested th’ blood, from that check-up we had.” Elektra remembered it. McCoy had made a visit. Elektra may not have liked many of the X-Men, but Beast had a pleasant bedside manner. And he was the only doctor she had known to have had warm hands.

“Yes?”

“Ele…,” she could see that this wasn’t easy for him. Maybe he really was the one responsible? She decided to keep quiet and listened.

“They carried my genes. They… they had my healin’ factor only it wasn’t meant t’show at puberty like fer most mutants. They… they already had it, in t’womb, much faster ‘n better’n I ever had mine. Their little bodies couldn’t take th’ strain…”

And there it was.

It wasn’t my fault.

Maybe I always knew. But right now looking at my husband, watching Logan, I wish in the end that I had been the one that was right all along.

Maybe I also understood why he never told me. Maybe I understood why he was here now, in this place, to do this thing. But I didn’t have to like either.

Wolverine sagged now, defeated. Beat. The war was now over and he had lost. He’d lost to himself a long time ago. Now all he could do was do what he had to do. Once again he stepped forward.

“S’all I got le…”

And that’s when I kicked him.

Wolverine fell back hard, and Elektra followed. She was angry, yes. And in a way it was justified. She was saving his life by doing this. She lept again, and this time Logan reaction, batting her leg aside and then pushing upwards, striking her shoulder to send her backwards, to land on her back.

Logan was up quick, following this through, not by attacking his wife, but rather trying to move around her, to rush towards the temple before she could stop him. But Elektra rolled to her side, kicking out a leg to trip Logan. Not very elogant, but as Wolverine landed front down, it was effective. Struggling to get up, he managed to roll over onto his back, but Logan was pinned by Elektra, who had lept upon him.

“All you’ve got, is that what you were going to say?? What about me, Logan?”

“Looks t’me like ya’ found sum’thin’ t’do without me yerself. Ya’ always did look good in white.”

And that’s when I stabbed him.

Wolverine didn’t even flinch as the sai was embedded into his already wounded shoulder. But didn’t look upset, or even hurt. And he only made one motion. Reaching up with his left hand he took Elektra’s now free one.

She slid back, stepping up and away from Logan, shocked at what she had done, but not regretful of it either. What right did he have to judge her? But then, what right did she have to judge him? They were two people that had found different paths to follow now. They weren’t going to walk either together, Elektra knew this now.

“Up and at ’em, old man.”

Elektra realized that she beeen kneeling, looking down at her closed hand. But now she looked up to see the woman Logan had brought here with him, standing over Logan. Yukio held her wounded side, but she reached down to help Logan up to his feet.

“How much-…”

“Nothing, Logan,” the woman spoke again, answering her companion. The Wild One shot a glance to Elektra, but looked away quickly. “Just came around, saw you downed. Nothing at all.” Of course, with his hyper senses, Logan would know if she was lying or not.

On his feet again, Logan wobbled slightly. He was getting tired, faint and weak. But he wouldn’t stop until this was over. Pulling the sai from his shoulder, Logan stepped forward towards Elektra. Yukio followed, quickly applying a bandage to the wound. Logan merely let the bloodied weapon drop to the ground, before Elektra. This caused her to look up, up to Wolverine. A man who three simple words for her.

“I’m sorry.”

Three little words that meant as much as the other, more famous three little words. Words that said it all, what she needed to hear. But also what he needed to say. Perhaps from here both Logan and Elektra could move on from this. If not as one, then as individuals.

Looking up, Elektra watched the two walking away, headed towards the temple. She wouldn’t get in their way now. There was no need to. She understood.

She was sent here on a mission, to ‘save a spirit’. Going into this, knowing she would be facing her husband, she thought that it meant his, to make sure he didn’t die. But now she knew she had come here to face Logan so that her own might be freed, perhaps as well as his.

Elektra opened her left hand, the one that Logan had taken. She wasn’t aware of it at the time, but he had placed something there, something she had been clutching. A simple band of gold.

He had returned his ring.

Gathering her sai, Elektra stood, and she pocketed the ‘goodbye’ from Logan. She turned, to leave this place as well, and yet she knew it wouldn’t be the last time she would see her ex-husband. She would make sure of that.

She would miss him, miss their time together. But now, now they could go on with their lives.

“Thank you, Logan.” She looked back over her shoulder, just once, in time to catch Logan and Yukio crossing the treshold of the temple. “I love you too.”

And with that, the hardest part was over. It would only get better from here.